****Spoiler Notice****Don't read if you are in a relationship***
Some
things that begin at adolescence form the foundation of a person’s mind and
soul. Every person feels a void in his life; even the most accomplished person
can’t seem to be completely satisfied with his life. Even in the presence of
most loving and kind family members and friends, there seems to be loneliness;
with no one to understand you.
People start to think about life, discover
new things to share, new feelings emerge and an instinctual urge to be in the
company of people arises.
The feeling of being lonely drives people
to search for their so-called ‘soul mates’. (Yes, I mean GFs and BFs.)
Your thoughts
You think that you will find someone who’ll
care for you, understand you better and make you less lonely; probably you can actually
share your feelings with someone who’ll actually listen to your problems and
situations, your thoughts and emotions, and make you happier.
Okay. So why does it happen?
The reason is actually the combination of
several factors: (I’ll mention the
reasons in this article and in continuation if you’d like.)
First of all, hormones. You might be
familiar with the ‘hormones’ part.
#1. Now,
have you ever seen a cat chase a ball of fur? In case you understood the
metaphor, relationship is like a ball of fur. Like the cat, it seems quite
beautiful, charming or lucrative to you due to your thoughts that I mentioned
above.
#2. In
reality, it’s just something that seems interesting. It’s not meaningful or
larger than life romance. It’s the human tendency to go against the rules, do
something new, and enjoy it.
#3. You
seek relationship because it is an asset that you have; it’s your own special
ball of fur. You’re sure that it’s something beautiful, something you’ve earned
after your conquest to impress that boy/girl. Possessing a relationship is, in
your view, is something that brings you closer to a responsible and dignified
person. You’re wrong. Your brain fed on thousands of romantic novels and movies
actually leads you to believe that relationship is a beautiful thing. It
destroys the innocence and sanctity of your soul.
Why it makes you Happy?
I must be wrong, you should say; because
people are happy in their relationships, ecstatic, actually.
#4. Well,
this reason might be the most important one. The answer to your apparent
happiness lies in your own self. Go, some years back before your teenage years.
You didn’t even like to be associated with girls in ‘that’ way. You still hate
it when someone brings up a talk associated you and a girl in front of everyone.
So what happened that made you change the way you think? You became bored of
life, of being a child; of having to follow the life prescribed by your
parents. You became desperate for attention, desperate for adventure,
desperate for ‘fun’.
You went against your own conscience,
because you were bored. No success, no adventure, life was monotonous. Now do
you realize that there is no greater bliss than what you left behind?
#5. And
even if my above arguments seem unconvincing, you must believe that some things
are good and others bad. If your relationship is a ‘good’ thing, why don’t the
people who love you most not approve of it? You say, they wouldn’t
understand your feelings and relationship etc.
Actually, the argument is quite elementary
in nature. It’s the plain old good vs. bad.
A person who loves you (like parents) would
always want well for you. Always. (Now say again, they don’t understand my love
etc.)
As I said, you’re misguided, you’ve been
deeply brainwashed by this love propaganda. Pre-marital love affairs are
immoral. They strip you off your innocence and purity. This
kind of love is not in any world, close to being sacred.
Any person who is sensible would not
approve of it. Think about it. Not your mother, if she knows what you’re up to.
Or anyone who cares for you.
Having friends and companions is alright. But love
affairs are taking it too far. You lose your dignity by making yourself
available to someone.
Listen.
More than 90% of relationships don’t lead
to marriage. You might promise and commit to yourself I’ll marry that no one
else except him/her. But everything dies, because it’s not sacred.
If you’re doing it just for the ‘fun’ of
it, know that recklessness isn’t going to lead you anywhere.
Whatever amount of pleasure you derive from
these actions, it is immoral and disrespectful in all aspects. You are ripping
away your modesty.
Would a person who loves
you, expect such things from you?
 |
| Sha'az Ahmed Shams is a student of XI Science at Jamia Millia Islamia, New Delhi. |
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